If there’s something in your lives that you’re not happy with, but you want to be, you have two options if you want to feel better:
- Reframe your perspective on the situation, thing, or person. Focus on the more positive aspects instead of the negative ones to shift your mindset and feel more content (see example further down).
- Change or leave the situation. We often have the ability to choose what we want in our lives and step back from conditions that are no longer fruitful.
This may include aspects such as a job, relationships, or even health conditions. Often, we have the power to make changes in these areas. However, there are times when we find ourselves in situations beyond our control. In those instances, reframing our perspective may help us maintain a positive state of being.
For example, when disliking our job
If we are unhappy with our job, we can change our perspective and adopt, for example, an attitude of gratitude for getting a salary every month (read the disclaimer below).
We might appreciate the fact that we are making a difference through our job, our colleagues, or how it enables us to maintain a home. For others, the best choice may be to quit their job and make room for a new opportunity.
It’s important to rely on our own judgment and intuition when making decisions in these situations.
Disclaimer: Do not fall into the trap of shaming yourself and thinking: ”I should be happy and grateful.” if something is off in your life, there’s a reason for it, so be curious about why.
Sometimes, taking the leap & creating space is the only way
I have become very in tune with myself and my intuition (due to trust and practice), and if an unfulfilled feeling persists, I am going to find out what that is trying to tell me.
My intuition is my life’s compass, and I learned how to trust it and follow its directions—however, this took me practice and a lot of trust.
My story: Leaving my ”career”
In 2022, I decided to leave my job in Stockholm. I had been working within Growth Marketing at a fast-paced health startup, and I was building my career as you are ”supposed to do” working for a company with a great vision, but our values clashed, and my heart was no longer in my work.
At the end of 2021, I had a gut feeling that my time at the company was nearing its end, but I also knew that now wasn’t the right time to make a move and quit.
How I found a quick relief
I struggled with my situation for some time. Everyone who has had a job they are unsatisfied with understands that feeling.
But I learned much about myself and gained new, valuable work-related skills. I knew I needed to stay a bit longer, and when things felt unbearable, I told myself, ”In two months, I can make a decision”, which helped me find relief.
Shift state by setting a decision-deadline
That is actually one of my best tricks when feeling really anxious about something in life that requires you to act, but you don’t know how.
Take a break from all the stressful, anxious thoughts and set a deadline:
- I will decide this on this day…
- …and add it to your calendar.
Then, you let your mind and body have some peace. We are not making good decisions in a stressful state because our bodies are pumped up with stress hormones, and we are not thinking long-term.
Clear, intuitive guidance made me jump
At the end of January, I had a meeting with my manager. I felt incredibly uninspired by the new tasks that were not at all aligned with what I was good at, and I just felt so clear: ”It’s time; I am done; I have learned everything I need to learn” – so I resigned!
It was not a spontaneous choice; it was an intuitive choice.
Life unfolded beautifully
I didn’t have a new plan or a new job, but I fully trusted my instinct. Looking back, that was the right decision at the right time because everything in my life unfolded perfectly in the only way life can when divine guidance interferes, and when we follow our intuition.
Being highly sensitive & having a strong intuition is a superpower
Having a strong intuition is one of the greatest gifts of being highly sensitive, yet many people try to numb it and see it as a curse. I also saw it as a curse for a long time, so I understand how it can make us suffer.
We feel everything so much, both pain and joy, and intensely, so sometimes we just have to have a break from it and numb it. In the past, I numbed it through food, alcohol, working too much, and medication for anxiety, ADHD, and depression.
When I stopped trying to fit into the box and be myself, I understood I had a superpower. My sensitivity was my guiding system, making sure I was on the right path when I was not. I no longer felt the need to escape from myself as I used to do.
I was so tempted to lie about having a new job
The tricky thing is that if we want to have more good things in our lives, we need to make space for it. When I resigned, people around me thought I was so weird and stupid for leaving a secure job without having a new one; that’s just not something you do.
Being in that position is hard; sometimes, I was tempted to lie just to feel more at ease in my relationships with others.
I let my inner voice guide me, not my fears
But deep down, I also knew that one of my callings in life was to show people that it is okay to do life differently.
The inner voice, my spirit, said: Stick to the truth. You need to represent another way of living. Demonstrates that it is okay to choose your heart and not always choose safety first. Show others what can happen when you let that inner calling, your soul – drive your vehicle through life and not your fears!
My successful divorce-metaphor
I came up with something to say when people questioned my decisions, and it made them think in a new way – most of the time! I said:
”Well, if you are in an unhappy marriage, you don’t wait to file for divorce until you get a new wife or husband. You leave the marriage first, right? And then, when you are ready, you start dating again, right?”
I realized that this is not the case with everyone, but most of the time, it landed well.
The courage to make space first
New opportunities might not be able to enter our lives if it’s already packed with people, situations, and events. It’s just how the universal laws and physics operate.
We also need to be still to hear our intuition. Suppose we are in a stressful environment that constantly activates our nervous system. Making the right long-term decisions will be hard since our system is too busy surviving.
How your desires may be closer than you think
If we had the choice between feeling comfortable or uncomfortable 24/7, most of us would choose to feel comfortable, right?
But the truth is that very often, the things we long for, authentic relationships, a meaningful job, exciting travels, etc., often exist outside of our comfortzon, so to live a true, genuine, and fulfilling life, we need to move beyond our comfortzon and be okay with feeling discomfort from time to time.
The first step is the most challenging
Imagine this: You have taken the hardest step toward something better, but you’re not there yet, and turning back isn’t an option.
This period requires tenacity and resilience. You need to work on your mindset and remember your reasons for starting this journey. It won’t be difficult forever, I promise. On the other side shines the light, freedom, and a transformed version of yourself that you may not even believe is possible.
Faith and optimism can replace fear
This means that we sometimes need to say goodbye and leave things behind before we know what new opportunity will come in and fill the space. So, we need to have a lot of trust in these situations, which can be very hard. Sometimes, we need to face periods of feeling lonely when others don’t understand our decisions.
However, it’s not a reason to go back; it’s a reason to take one step at a time, slowly push forward, and just survive until it gets easier.
These struggling moments are part of living life fully. Still, few talk about them, unfortunately, and we need to change that so we are more equipped when these times of uncertainty hit.
Is what you consider normal making you feel something is wrong with you?
I heard a great speech by T.D Jakes, who said something like:
”If you don’t know giving birth is gonna hurt, if you think the pain is not normal – you’re gonna believe there is something wrong with you.”
I am unsure if that was exactly what he said, but that was the message, at least.
I believe we have to make pain, suffering, and struggles more normal but not get stuck in them. It’s part of the process that we need to go through in order to come out stronger.
We are often sold the lie that the ultimate happiness is an easy and pain-free life. The person who started that trend probably wanted to sell something, not actually solve a problem for people.
It’s easier to surrender when observing the wonders of nature
Over the past few years, I have gone through many uncertain times, which caused me to suffer and question everything. At times, the only source of comfort I found during this period was nature. I was able to see how everything can work out perfectly, even when it is not controlled and when I embraced a more surrendering approach to life.
When the modern world cannot provide answers, it might be time to look to the old scriptures for wisdom
During some of my toughest times, I found comfort and guidance in stories from the Old Testament.
I’m not trying to teach religion or anything, but when I’m dealing with something challenging, I often look for answers in different traditions, or actually, they fall into my lap in the most mysterious ways – I’m not looking much!
It’s interesting how very different traditions have so much in common. That, to me, means some evidence of truth.
Am I a Bible reader? I would like to because it’s fascinating but I’m a little lazy if being honest. However, I spent quite a bit of time on YouTube, and suddenly, videos about these stories started popping up.
The stories of people facing what seemed like impossible challenges really helped me. Whether these stories are facts or just myths—only God knows. But in the end, what really matters is the lesson and the message they share. Sometimes, I think a bit of mysticism is needed to find the deeper truth in these stories.
It helped me to compare my struggles a little when I wanted to give up. Suppose Moses and his gang could wander around in the desert for 40 years before getting to the promised land. In that case, I think I can survive this uncertainty for another month. Is the story 100% true? Nobody knows; again, only God knows that, but did it help me? Yeah!
The struggles of the wilderness and river of change
Navigating through the ”wilderness” is challenging. However, once you reach the other side – having faced each test and resisted the urge to revert to your old self – you undergo a transformation. Dr. Joe Dispenza refers to this as ”the river of change,” and I find this imagery very powerful. While no one truly enjoys this process, it is essential for building character and resilience.
You’ll emerge more authentic and better aligned with who you are meant to be, but don’t harden your heart along the way. Be tough, but not hard.
An old Life Coach in some ways – not all ways!
These biblical stories aren’t about religion; they’re really about life. You can take what resonates and leave the rest. Yes, it has definitely been used for evil purposes, manipulated, and tweaked, but I realized that there is actually gold to be found.
I was recently listening to a Swedish podcast where they interviewed Ola Salo, the singer from The Ark. He talked about his personal, more non-religious faith, which I totally relate to. He mentioned how the stories in the Old Testament kind of show us what being an adult is all about, with its ups and downs. That perspective really got stuck with me.
My strategy to have no regrets
Trust and live life wholeheartedly; it will make your 80-year-old self proud. It will help you live fully, having no regrets, because you lived with your heart wide open to the world, even if that might have hurt you.
You can handle hurt, but you cannot handle regrets in the same way. So let your heart drive your vehicle through life, and have no regrets.
What do you need to let go of that is holding you back in your life?
