In this part, we are not discussing:
- What is it about you that triggers people?
- You might trigger people simply by being yourself without needing to take any specific actions.
Discovering our unique gifts and purposes can be challenging, as they are so deeply rooted within us that we might not even realize they exist. In this post, we will explore how triggers in our relationships give awareness of your gifts.
Also, just a reminder that this post is part of our free course on uncovering your purpose. It’s designed to help you discover your authentic gifts and express yourself fully.
What is it about you that annoys people, whether they express it openly or keep it a secret?
What is it about you that triggers reactions in people? It might occur even when you aren’t doing anything at all—simply by being yourself. Perhaps it’s your manner of speaking, your style of dress, your appearance, or how you lead others. It could even be the way you lead yourself.
You may simply feel comfortable in your own skin, which can trigger feelings of insecurity in others.
What is it about you that annoys others? It could be your beauty, your self-confidence, or your overall satisfaction with life. These qualities might trigger negative feelings in people, reminding them of what they lack in their own lives and highlighting their insecurities.
Everyone possesses their own unique beauty, but to truly shine:
- You must believe in it…
- … and embrace what makes you different.
So stop conforming to others’ standards and looking like everyone else; instead, celebrate your uniqueness.
A gift of leadership requires you to detach from the need to fit in, which many find triggers
Maybe you’re very brave, maybe you speak bravely, maybe you live bravely. This might trigger people because it reminds them that they aren’t living courageously.
If you have a gift of leadership, for example, you will naturally be brave. You can’t be a leader if you’re not brave because you have to rely on yourself and create your own path. You don’t follow others. You have to be okay with not fitting in and not listening to other people because other people will most likely tell you to just survive. Not everyone does this, but in my experience, the majority do.
Fear-based choices make you survive but not feel alive.
When focusing on just surviving, we create a fear-based life. We base our choices on what will keep us safe. There’s nothing wrong with that, but as with everything, it comes with consequences, and a life of survival does not make us feel alive.
It is very much possible to survive: be safe, pay the bills, and have a roof over our heads when aiming higher towards actually living. When we focus on feeling alive, making our decisions based on freedom, goodness, joy, care, and love for life and other people. I have tried it, it works. I got slightly sidetracked, back to the topic.
If you spread joy, some people will be annoyed by that.
Perhaps you are a very loving, caring, and positive person. Perhaps you spread a lot of light around you. That is not always popular.
I had a conversation with a wonderful man a month ago, and he is exactly like that. He spreads joy and light around him wherever he goes. And his colleagues can’t stand him. And they are constantly trying to make him shut down his gifts by telling him that he’s too much, telling him this and that to make him stop. I find this very sad because the world needs more people like him.
Aggravating peoples darkness
The hard truth (in my opinion) is that when we walk around with a lot of darkness inside, a lot of dense energy, and a lot of negative emotions (this is a very religious term but I think it’s visual and great), it’s like we have these angry demons inside of us. And when we face light and positivity, these angry demons they go bananas.
We have all been there.
I know that you all know what I’m talking about here because we’ve all been there.
We all had a very bad day, and then we just popped into the supermarket to get groceries. And the woman in the cashier is lovely, super friendly, super positive. She asks you about your day. You simply want her to just shut up, you just wanna get your groceries, you just wanna pay, and you just wanna get your ass out of there because you can’t stand being around that positive energy, that light, this spreader of joy and kindness.
So, what is it about you that creates this effect on other people? That makes the demons in other people go bananas?
Speaking up is usually not a popular thing to do
Perhaps you speak up when other people gossip and trash talk? Just because you simply don’t like it and it’s not a very nice thing to do. People don’t like that.
Having boundaries will trigger people who feel unworthy of having boundaries.
Perhaps you have very firm boundaries in relationships, people don’t like that either. Perhaps you have a very beautiful home; perhaps you are great with design, or perhaps you are a very generous person, but people might not like that either – if it’s not them, you are generous too. It reminds them that they’re not generous and giving themselves.
When we do not operate for kindness and feel good about ourselves and life, we usually don’t like it when others do.
So, how do we know when we trigger other people?
I am very sensitive to energy, so I can easily feel it. It’s not like, as soon as people get triggered there or cause a scene, you can feel someone distancing themselves from you, pulling away, even if they don’t actually do it physically.
Personally, I feel people’s intention behind words. It’s a skill I needed to develop from my environment and my childhood. It’s a blessing, but, yeah, it also feels a little bit like a curse sometimes. I’m grateful for it, though.
You feel when people don’t appreciate your presence or what you’re saying, but please, only because that is happening doesn’t mean that you should stop doing what you’re doing.
If you trigger people, that’s a huge indicator that what you’re doing to create that trigger is your gift, because we are supposed to create good with our gifts. And people have so much darkness, so much demons in their system. These are going to get activated when you create good when you’re loving when you’re caring, and when you do things for the right reasons.
Living fully and being you are enough reasons to trigger people.
For me, I am not focusing on surviving. My focus is to actually live, aligned with myself, where I want to go, and my direction.
I have a very strong faith, and I always follow my inner guidance and my heart. And I practice my gift even though I don’t know how it’s gonna play out. I have embodied that things will work out for me, even though I’m not sure how.
And people who are stuck in survival find this triggering. People who make all their life choices based on survival and safety instead of desire, joy, and alignment will not like this. So they are triggered, and that’s okay.
You are responsible for your energy, no one else.
I’m also very solution-driven at the same time, as I love listening to people and having compassion. But if people come to me with the same problem over and over again, and I notice that they actually don’t want to solve their problem. I’m gonna say that because I don’t want people to dump things on me that actually don’t want to have a solution. My gift is to help and encourage others to see they are worth their gifts and get in contact with that aliveness inside, creating the life that they want.
Leaking your energy in the wrong places will affect your life and ability to use your gifts and talent in a wholehearted way.
And if I allow people to just dump things on me, then things over and over again will affect me very negatively, and that will make me leak my energy. So, I need to make that discernment in my own life. So, I am not the right person for that, and I am the only one who is responsible for my own entity. And if my energy leaks, I need to do something about it.
I can’t make other people responsible for my experience, my energy, and my happiness. I need to be responsible for that with the help of others, with the help of the universe, God, and universal laws that we see around us.
We can’t be responsible for every person’s reaction, but wholehearted and authentic actions never have the intention to hurt people, either.
If your actions and way of living trigger strong reactions in others, it might be a sign of one of your gifts. This can be challenging, as it’s not always easy to provoke such reactions. However, it’s important to remember that you are not responsible for how others respond.
I want to add a disclaimer here when I say that we cannot walk around being responsible for other people’s reactions; that does not mean that I mean that we should just say whatever and don’t care about other people.
I am promoting living authentically and living from our heart because that is, in my opinion, when we are truly ourselves and truly happy.
And it’s so important to realize that speaking from our heart does not mean intentionally hurting other people. However, we will walk through life, be hurt, and we will also hurt other people.
But wholehearted communication never has the intention to hurt. And when you practice your gifts from your heart, from a place where you are aligned with you, you will most likely upset people. And that can be very hard. So, you do need to discern who you surround yourself with and what information you absorb. But the more you do it, you will become kind of numb to it and not care so much.
The people you are supposed to have in your life will want what is good for you. They want you to practice your gift. They want you to be authentic. But honestly, we often have people around us who don’t really support us that way, and that’s fine. We don’t need to cut with them, but we don’t need to have them closest to our hearts either.
We need to be responsible for how we interact with the world around us. And have friends that support you, that you can laugh with, and help you rise above the negative stuff that’s so present in this world.
