The Power of Changing Your Perspective
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a loop of frustration, overthinking a situation beyond your control? Perhaps someone tells you, “Just let it go,” but if it were that easy, you wouldn’t be struggling in the first place, would you?
That’s where reframing comes in, a simple yet powerful technique for shifting one’s mindset and transforming one’s experience of life’s challenges.
Reframing is Not About Toxic Positivity
Reframing isn’t about ignoring problems or forcing yourself to be positive. It’s about looking at a situation from a different angle, changing how you interpret it, and ultimately, changing how you feel about it.
By doing this, you free yourself from stress, resentment, and limiting beliefs that hold you back. This transformation even has a profound effect on your physical body and epigenetics (gene activity).
Why Reframing Works
Imagine your mind is like a camera lens. If you zoom in too much on a problem, it feels overwhelming, too intense. But when you adjust the focus and zoom out, suddenly, you see the bigger picture and all the different angles. Reframing is that shift in focus, transforming your frustration into understanding, disappointment into opportunity, and fear into growth, to name a few!
You are not suppressing your emotions but instead redirecting them
We often try to suppress or escape negative emotions or shaming how we feel by telling ourselves:
- “I shouldn’t feel this way”
- or “I just need to stop thinking about it.”
But emotions are energy, and energy doesn’t just disappear. Energy needs to be transformed or processed to feel like it ”disappears.” Reframing allows you to shift your focus and, therefore, transform and process the emotions. You are not pushing them away but rather redirecting the energy into a feeling (and mindset) that is much better for you and that doesn’t drain you the same way.
A Simple Example of Reframing
Imagine you wake up on a Sunday morning craving a cup of freshly brewed coffee from your favorite coffee shop near your house, but it’s still a little walk.
You put on your clothes, and even if you haven’t left your hallway yet, you can almost feel that delicious coffee aroma and delicious sip. You walk quite fast, only to find the shop unexpectedly closed. Your frustration kicks in: “Why would they be closed today? This is so annoying!” You feel irritated, and your morning is off to a very bad start.
Zooming Out & Shifting Your Mindset
But what if you shift your perspective? Maybe the owner had an emergency. Maybe the staff needed a well-deserved day off. Or maybe this is an opportunity to make your own breakfast and have your delicious black brew at home, turning it into an even more cozy and perhaps a little unexpected morning. Perhaps you’ll even save some money!
The situation didn’t change, but your experience of it did: Simply by changing your thoughts.
Now, imagine applying this to bigger life challenges.
The 7 Steps to Use Reframing In Your Life
Reframing requires some practice, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes as easy as brushing your teeth in the morning. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you shift your perspective and regain control over how you experience life.
It’s not always possible to feel amazing, and I don’t think that is the point of life, but we can always feel a bit better about challenging situations by tweaking our mindset. Remember, the challenging times build our character and make us stronger, wiser, and more resilient!
1. Identify Your Negative Thought Patterns
Pay attention to the destructive stories you tell yourself. Are you sometimes assuming the worst-case scenario? Are you perhaps a bit hard on yourself? Do you believe that a change will never actually occur since you always fail? Awareness is the first step to transformation.
Example of a negative thought pattern: “If I don’t help my coworkers every time they ask me to, they won’t like me. I’m afraid of being left out and trash-talked.”
It can also be simple, everyday situations. For example, if you feel tired of everyone talking at the dinner table, shift your focus to thoughts like:
”I am grateful to have dinner and a family that I can be annoyed with. I can be annoying sometimes too – thank you!”
2. Question the Story You’re Telling Yourself
Where does this pattern and belief come from? Is it actually true? Often, our negative thoughts are rooted in an old experience that’s no longer good for us. Perhaps there’s another story other than the one popping up in your head immediately that could be true.
Example of a root cause: “When I grew up, I noticed that my family seemed to like me more when I prioritized their needs above my own. People-pleasing became a way to feel good and safe, and now I can’t do what I actually want to do because then, nobody will like me. I need to sacrifice myself to be liked and deserve love.”
3. Find a New, Empowering Perspective
Change the story and your negative thought patterns in a constructive, more positive way, and focus on the possibilities instead of the obstacles.
Disclaimer: Doing this when you’re upset can be challenging since you’re dysregulated and stressed. If that’s the case, do an activity that grounds you and has a calming effect.
What are the possible gains and good lessons in this situation? Is there something valuable to take with you moving forward? Instead of focusing on fear or lack, look for an alternative way to view the situation. Every challenge carries a hidden lesson or opportunity, yes, even a gift if we choose that perspective.
Example: “If I take care of myself first, I have even more energy to genuinely show up for others. I will probably like people more and feel better and calmer at work. When I healthily set boundaries, I inspire others to do the same – which is a good thing for everyone!”
4. See the Bigger Picture
Zoom out for a little bit. What’s really happening here? Are you taking something personally when it’s not about you? Are you seeing things from one side only? What perspective could affect your emotions in a more wholesome way?
As children, we believe everything is our fault because it’s simply our survival system’s way of helping us survive better (not feel good). However, many people take this survival strategy into adulthood, which is not beneficial at all.
Important: If you have a history of people-pleasing, remember that understanding others’ perspectives doesn’t mean neglecting yourself and your needs all the time. Empathy for others is not a good enough reason to be walked over. But having our way is not always the solution either. We need to get to know ourselves, and finding balance and learn why we do the things we do – are there any fears involved? Be curious.
5. Use Language That Supports Growth
The words you use are so powerful and shape your perception. Instead of adding fire to your negative thoughts, choose caring words that encourage solutions, progress, and self-compassion.
Example:
❌ “I’m such an idiot! I said yes again when I didn’t want to. I never learn!”
✅ “Oops, I slipped into an old pattern. But I’m learning and getting better every day! Next time, I’ll succeed. This is not failure just data”
Can you tell the difference between how these two different self-talks feel to you?
6. Visualize Your Best Possible Outcome
Once you’ve reframed your perspective, picture the best possible outcome that you can imagine. How would that outcome feel? What does this new way of thinking allow you to do? Who does this new way of believing allow you to be?
Do you feel freedom? Do you feel proud? Perhaps even invinsible?
Use these good and empowering feelings to anchor your new mindset in your body and subconscious mind. When you use intense feelings with a visualization like this, your brain responds to your visualization as if it’s actually real as if it’s actually happening, and then you embody this new positive change and belief more and more every time you repeat this process.
7. Practice, Practice, Practice
Reframing isn’t a one-time fix; it’s a skill you develop. The more you use it, the more natural it becomes. Eventually, your brain will automatically shift to more empowering perspectives, helping you navigate life with more ease, optimism, and confidence.
Where does this Reframing come from?
I’ve always been quite an optimistic person, even though I have struggled in life like most people. It has always come naturally for me to turn a ”bad” situation into something positive simply because it feels better. However, I learned about this method more in-depth while studying NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming), and I began applying it in various areas of my life. I can tell you – it has saved me!
Later on my journey, as I became more interested in studying Eastern spiritual traditions and biblical texts, I noticed that the concept of reframing appeared in multiple places within those texts (see examples further down).
While I do not teach religion, I have a strong faith beyond typical religions, and I believe there is much wisdom to be gained from reading spiritual texts, whether factually or from a more mystical perspective.
Look for the deep message; sometimes, a mystical approach is necessary
To me, it doesn’t really matter if every single detail is true or not. As the great teacher Adyashanti said, what truly matters about the biblical texts is the true message that the story conveys. I appreciate that way of describing it. Sometimes, finding the true message requires a mystical approach.
Teachings & Traditions Overlap
After studying coaching, mental training, and hypnotherapy, I realized that many of the mental training techniques could actually be found in the Bible and other Eastern spiritual traditions like, for example, Taoism. I am definitely not an expert in this subject, but I enjoy finding answers and patterns, especially when they overlap across different traditions.
Examples of Reframing from Taoism and the Bible
Jesus’ Teaching on the Kingdom Mindset (Matthew 5:11-12)
”Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.”
Reframing example: Instead of viewing persecution as suffering, Jesus reframes it as a reason for joy and a promise of reward.
In Taoism, reframing involves aligning with the natural flow of life (the Tao) and shifting perspectives to find harmony rather than resistance. Here are a few Taoist principles that reflect this concept of reframing:
Wu Wei (Effortless Action) – Letting Go of Struggle
Rather than forcing things to happen, Taoism teaches that life flows best when we stop resisting. A difficult situation can be seen not as a battle to win but as an opportunity to move with the current rather than against it.
Reframing example: Instead of perceiving failure as defeat, consider it as redirection towards a path that aligns more closely with your true nature.
You Have the Power to Reframe Your Life
Life will always bring challenges. But your happiness doesn’t come from what happens to you, it comes from how you interpret and respond to it. By mastering the art of reframing, you take back control of your thoughts, emotions, and energy.
So next time you catch yourself leaning into negativity, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself: Is there another way to see this? Chances are, the answer will set you free.
Try it today – because a small shift in perspective can change everything. 😊
